it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There are leaves in my underwear?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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