I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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