Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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