Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
