Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
