You can't special order awesome
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
