He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
