im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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