I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
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