He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
