How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
