I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
