it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
how do flat chested girls get laid?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
