gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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