Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
