You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
