remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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