when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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