I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
