he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
