They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
