A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
