dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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