3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
