he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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