Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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