I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
