Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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