so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
