I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
