Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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