Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
