Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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