There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
