how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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