Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
