That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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