i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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