whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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