The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
