i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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