she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
is that a dick in a sweater?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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