he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
