I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
