Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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