maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I look better un-naked...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
