Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
