Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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