Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
