My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Someone shit on the floor
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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