I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
