Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
