I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she told me i tasted like america
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
