But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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