The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
