And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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